The Toastmasters Trap

Toastmasters International has been the most influential organization in my personal and professional development. Over the years I have been a member, I have become more confident, more action orientated, and better able to accomplish the goals I have established for myself. With that being said, there is one trap that Toastmasters has created and I wonder if you have fallen into it yourself.

What is the trap?

Imagine for a moment that you are in a presentation outside of a Toastmasters meeting. As you sit there listening to the speaker, what do you notice?

  • Is the speaker pacing the room in a way that is annoying?
  • Does the speaker laugh too hard at his or her own jokes?
  • Did the speaker point directly at someone in the audience?
  • Was the speaker using ums, ahs, you knows, and other filler words?
  • Did the speaker not have a clear opening, body, and closing?

If that is all you picked up from the speaker, then you have fallen into the trap.

The trap is expecting every speaker to speak like a Toastmaster.

As a Toastmaster, you learn a system for speaking more effectively. The Toastmasters system makes you more confident, effective, and better prepared as a speaker. What the system also does is create a trap that makes you believe that every speaker has to speak like a Toastmaster.

The secret to being a respected speaker is not that you have eliminated filler words, but that you have changed the lives of the audience for the better.

If you have a desire to become a professional speaker, then know that the person that is writing the check is not deducting money for each um and uh. They are paying you to make a lasting impact on the lives of the audience. This can be done with or without the techniques taught by Toastmasters.

I was reminded of this fact when I was reading a public speaking advice blog. The writer of the blog was critiquing one of the most highly paid coaches and speakers in the world, Marshall Goldsmith. In his critique, he talked about the bad habits Marshall had and how it distracted from his effectiveness as a speaker.

Having read Marshall Goldsmith’s bestselling book, I was interested, so I watched the video the blog referenced:

Was laughing at his own jokes annoying?

Did he not follow all of the “rules” of public speaking?

Yes, but that video changed my life for the better. After the first few moments, it didn’t matter what habits he had. All that mattered is that I am far better off in life after watching the presentation. That is more than I can say from many technically perfect presentations I have seen.

Do we need to continue to improve our speaking habits?

Yes, but the most important part of the speech is the message. Focusing on the techniques can be a trap for many Toastmasters and loosening up a little on “the rules” could be good for us all.

About the Author: My Toastmasters Blog is written and edited by Chris Elliott, the founder of the young professional coaching site Young Profit Pros. Chris enjoys using his knowledge and experiences during his speaking engagements, workshops, consulting projects, and one-on-one coaching sessions. The result—connecting people and empowering change. If you would like information on how you can bring Chris to speak to your next meeting, please download Chris' one sheet or contact him by clicking here.

Emphasis mine. Stumbled across on the web

The Eight Courtesies from tompeters!

The toughest part of writing a new book is choosing the epigraph—a dozen words penned by someone else that perfectly encapsulate what one has been up to for the prior five years. Well, I am entirely happy, even ecstatic, about the epigraph to The Little BIG Things*:

Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart.—Henry Clay

In fact, I'm now making what I call "The 'Eight Courtesies'" the centerpiece of my presentations. Below you'll find the List of Eight. Also, I have included a fully annotated version of The Eight Courtesies PowerPoint. (And a shorter version, from shorter presentations, The Five Courtesies PowerPoint.)

The "Eight Courtesies"


  1. Stay in touch. (MBWA.)

  2. Invest in relationships. (Make friends. Obsess.)

  3. Listen. (Respect. Learn. Student. PROFESSIONAL. Sustainable Competitive Advantage #1)

  4. Ask. (Engage. Inspire. Consult. React.)

  5. Thank. (Appreciate. Acknowledge.)

  6. Network. ("Suck down." C(I)>C(E).)

  7. Apologize. (Unequivocal. Rectify. Over-react. Forgive.)

  8. Practice thoughtfulness. (Kindness is free. This is ... STRATEGIC.)
  9.  

    The "Five Courtesies"


    1. Listen. (Respect. Learn. Student. PROFESSIONAL. Sustainable Competitive Advantage #1.)

    2. Ask. (Engage. Inspire. Consult. React.)

    3. Thank. (Appreciate. Acknowledge.)

    4. Apologize. (Unequivocal. Rectify. Over-react. Forgive.)

    5. Practice thoughtfulness. (Kindness is free. This is ... STRATEGIC.)

    6.  

      [*Tom's new book, The Little BIG Things: 163 Ways to Pursue Excellence, is to appear in early 2010.—CM]

       

      The MOTH returns to local radio this week.

      This program features more favorite stories from the Moth, a not-for-profit storytelling organization founded in New York in 1997 by poet and novelist George Dawes Green.

      In the first hour, hear stories about a batboy for the New York Yankees who goes on a wild goose chase for a left-handed bat-stretcher; an Irish-Catholic family obsessed with the Kennedys who dedicate a summer to spying on their idols; a comedian who experiences the ultimate heartbreak; and a drill sergeant who faints at the sight of blood.

      The second hour kicks off with a severely stuttering child who years later becomes the world's premier jaguar expert. Plus, a Texas tale of moon pies and bedazzlers; the surprising story of a Harlem man who ends up at a rodeo in Oregon; and one father's way of coping with a son who loves the color pink.

      Fri., Nov. 27 from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. on WAMU 88.5. Worth catching if you can; some really good storytelling.

      And don't forget other good sources: The Moth, Ignite, Ignite-DC, and Speakeasy-DC. All have podcasts to which you can subscribe with iTunes.

      Participate in the National Day of Listening to Preserve Family and Community History - Communication - Lifehacker

      November 27th is the National Day of Listening, a day created by the non-profit organization StoryCorps, an organization dedicated to preserving personal, community, and cultural history through spoken stories. You can participate by interviewing a loved one or community member.

      Since 2003, StoryCorps has been actively traveling the country and helping communities record their oral history. You may have heard some of its local and nationally recorded stories on your local NPR stations. We shared the idea of the National Day of Listening with you last year, its inaugural year. This year we're back to encourage you to participate again, or if you missed out last year, to participate for the first time. Check out the video below for an overview and some DIY information so you can participate at home:

      You'll find a DIY packet here. Whatever method you use to record your interview, like the excellent open-source sound recorder Audacity, a tape recorder, or a video camera, make sure to play around with your tool of choice to make sure it's in working order before you sit down to conduct your interview. Sure you've got working gear but not sure what kind of questions you could ask? Check out the StoryCorps questions generator here.

      Whether you participated last year, you're going to participate this year, or you've just got some tips and tricks for recording and interviewing you want to share, let's hear about it in the comments.