I really don't go out when I'm in Cleveland no more. I just stay in my room," he said. "Ain't nothing to do in Cleveland. Have you been there?

The scourge spreads to basketball. This time DeShawn Stevenson trash talks my home town.

“What do I do with my hands when I’m speaking?” is a common question that I hear when I’m teaching public speaking. Your hands form an important part of your non-verbal communication, or body language, and can help you convey confidence and communicate more effectively to your audience.

Here are 5 tips for what to do with your hands:

1. Be Aware of What Your Hands Are Doing
The first step in preventing your hands from distracting your audience is to become conscious of what your hands are doing. Are you cracking your knuckles, playing with your pen or twisting your note cards? I’ve seen speakers do each of these actions and they usually don’t realize they’re doing it. Focus on your hands while practicing, watch yourself on video or ask for feedback from a trusted colleague.

2. Use the “Neutral Position”
When not gesturing, your hands should be in the neutral position – hanging loosely at your sides. They should not be jammed in your pockets, folded across your chest or clasped behind your back.

3. Keep Your Hands Empty
There is no need to hold a pen, rubber band or paper clip while speaking. It’s easier and less distracting to gesture with empty hands. If you must hold your notes, the PowerPoint remote or a microphone, refer to point #1 and be aware of what your hands are doing with that item.

4. Relax Your Hands
I’ve seen speakers clench their hands into fists or grip the sides of the podium, neither of which conveys a relaxed confidence. Make sure that any nervousness or anxiety you may be feeling is not expressed by your hands.

5. Gesture to Support Your Words
Simple, natural gestures will support and visually illustrate your words. For example, use your hands to show distance traveled or open both arms wide to show that you are welcoming the audience.

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Gilda Bonanno is a speaker, trainer and coach who helps people from all walks of life improve their communication and presentation skills. Receive a FREE Special Report, “Six Mistakes to Avoid in Public Speaking, So Your Presentation Sparkles” by visiting http://gildabonanno.com/newsletter.aspx and entering your email address. You’ll also be subscribed to Gilda’s free twice-monthly e-newsletter containing practical tips you can use immediately to improve your communication and presentation skill

Seen via @OliviaMitchell at Twitter

There were two great orators from ancient Mediterranean: Demosthenes the Greek and Cicero the Roman.

It was said that when Cicero spoke, people exclaimed, “Great speech. Wonderful message. I couldn’t agree with you more.” And they showered him with accolades, adoration and standing ovations.

It was said that when Demosthenes spoke, people shouted, “Let Us March!”

Did you notice the difference?

Read the whole post for an application to our time and a powerful lesson in the use of logic and emotion.

What I learned from the Story Slam

This past weekend I went to my first story slam. I was laughing the entire night. What great fun.  But I also learned quite a good deal about effective story telling.

While I was listening to the stories, I kept thinking about what Ira Glass says are the three most important elements of story telling.  He says, that story telling should include a series of actions.  This happened, then this happened, and then we did this or and then I thought this. Next stories need to ask questions along the way and answer them.  And finally, good stories, the moment of reflection.  What is the key point?  What does this all mean?

Turns out that really GOOD stories have all three.  At the slam I noticed that the second and third elements were often missing. The story that “won” that evening did include the first two elements and hinted at self reflection, but there wasn’t an overt moment of reflection that gave the story meaning.

Here are some of the other things I noticed or was reinforced based on the stories I heard that night.

• The opening sentence can be attention gaining, or simply setting the scene.  “It was 2001 and I was traveling in India”.  Twenty-five years ago, I was a single mom, working by day as a banker and a topless dancer at night.”
• All stories need to include dialog.  Self-dialog that reveals genuine thoughts or emotions (that perhaps you wouldn’t normally share) will make the story stronger.  Sharing thoughts of when you got it wrong is also good.
• Descriptive detail is very important.  The more descriptive and specific the better.
• Using facial expressions are very important and need to be exaggerated.
• Changing the speed of delivery is important.
• Involving the audience is important.  If they react, acknowledge the reaction.
• Body movement should demonstrate as much as possible.

I’m going to the Grand Slam at the Painted Bride in Philadelphia on Saturday November 7th. If you are planning to go, please drop me a line so I can say hello in person.

Interesting advice from The Art of Speaking Business.

People often cite that public speaking is the greatest fear, but it's not. It's a myth. Hey, I didn't see anyone at the party dressed up as a public speaker -- you know, the ones on the circuit with the creepy Botox, amazing dental work, and buttoned-down business garb.

We all might be creeped out by these kinds of public speakers, but no one's really scared of public speaking itself. Not really.

They're scared of what happens as a result of public speaking. Like me, they might be scared of being a social outcast or ostracized for something they say (or how they say it.) They might be afraid (like my buttoned-down party pal) of sounding unnatural and inhuman.

Those are some of the real fears behind the myth of the fear of public speaking. The oft-parroted "fear of public speaking" myth prevents folks from addressing their real fears.

Fun for Halloween and thoughtful. Follow the link to read the whole post.